my.fucking.misfortune.

unfortunately she turns me on. insights my thought.though i think it's wrong.to think sweet thoughts..when im still alone.why tease myself with thoughts of you.when it would be better if feelings were true.if you knew i existed instead knowing my truth.seeing subtle pictures, rather than touch you?all of them do it.and they can't even tell.their vivid personalities that torture me well.and because i can't reach them, i forced to do hell..an indefinate sentence...with no posting bail.they fuck with my mind.and can't help but question..will i find you one day.and my turn ons are really and welcomed to me..when you get here, im ready.like a fresh summer day..i hate this misfortune, is all i can say.
swizzy.

and.i.never.pray.

and to my last breathi'll kill my adversaries.they say the world is evil, and that i'll always carry.and i no longer breathe, with thoughts of getting married.cause love is evil too..& the heartbreak is surely just another toolof the bullshit and the hurt that it could do to you..but to my last breath.. ill spray my bulletts at the ones who wish to do me harm.and metaphorically these are the thoughts released upon my arms..so fuck the shit you hear, and pay attention to the shit you see.cause only pictures are the image that you view of me.i've given up on all the people and their cruelties..and should my life be danger..i wont be suprised due to the extent of the anger that i feel inside..and should i die and rise..and see his golden eyes.i place my guns in remissioncause ive truly died.and my fight is over.ill die a spoken soldier.to a peace that lies beyond life and over shoulders.and to my eyes that lie awake upon this open night.i close my doors to the darknessthat tries to block my sight.but i'll be iight.cause im content with purpose.and i keep my shit loaded for the ones who steady lurking.my metaphors have serviceto the way i feel.and i depend to sleepupon a serviced pill.
-swizzy.

ciggarettes.&.time.

i never thought that loving could be hurtful so... .. if loving someone else is gonna hurt me so..then why do i believe that..falling one more time is gonna be for show or will it be something more?.. i wonder if there's someone else to end the show cause i've been searching for what seems like a very long time...but deep inside this mind i just can't fight the time it's running very low and i'm racing it to find a love that's likewise. in my mind there's nothing deeper than the feeling that you get from loving someone more than you love the sex. im wondering if the chance is long and gone, and if i had it before.. or is it still on it's way..or maybe on delay? i love with a different point of view. i want something major in comparison to will and jada or something even greater... my haters are opposed to see ya girl sitting pretty with a woman rahter than a "bitch" or something a tad different from the energy ive expensed.. lookin for love like something that fits tighter than a glove.. but what happens when the gloves are too small? what happens when it feels that you've given it your all? so fall after fall you find it hard to face them all. all the dreams and the riches of attempting to give it your all? all i want is a chance to feel something different than the norm. no discrepancies with who im wit and where i'm going an individual that knows me from the shades of my soul not the blank stares and the screams that "they don't care" or the pains that i feel when i know i won't be there. from the skies im a god like many mouths that say amen. as progress and the right the many wrongs i have amended, i hope i havn't open the door to pandora or the windows of her many faces... i know that love has been found in many places.

thoughts.in.the.mind.

there's nothing else to breathe for. nothing else to see. more time to dream about the many oceans and the seas. gonna miss the many kisses from the woman of my dreams. they'll be nothing more than the silence of something deeper than sound and faster than light. i'm at the flight of my intelligence. my intuition is heaven sent. but i never knew that that bein lonely would feel like it was the sixth or seventh sin. again and again my life slowly starts to spin. controlling emotions don't seem to be as easy now. so many times i've tried to walk with out assistance but i constantly meet the ground. heart heavy and willing just looking for my beginning, and hope that she'll be willing to take away some of the discomfort of knowing that it's me against the world. all for one girl.. i would probably face the universe in it's entirety. but rome wasn't built in a day.. or atleast that's what they say. i'm tryna do rome in a hour and greece by the second preparing myself this infection of love that im prepared to giving. i'm living and breathing for the emotion most people lack and think they've known it forever... alcohol levels run at high when im out and on my own.. sipping to take the pain of the void that i'm missing. and so i take a sip and whence as the burn in my chest starts to rise.. but the solutions will remian hidden behind the comfort of her eyes.